HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER!

Details: Created: Friday, 21 June 2013 08:02; Written by Lucy Kirkby

Today is Friday, June 21,2013. This is my Heather's Birthday. She would have turned 28 years old at 5:19 A.M.. I sang Happy Birthday to her at exactly that time. I wore purple and pinned one of the purple ribbon bows to my shirt. I made my usual request to my girl asking her to let me know she is still with me. Although I get "signs" all the time, and I know in my heart she is, sometimes I need confirmation. You know, that writing on the wall so to speak. I was listening to the usual radio station in the car on my way to work and didn't feel like listening to commercials. My drive is less than 2 miles, so I wanted music before work. I switched to another station, and just as a commercial ended, Drops of Jupiter started. My Heather Girl was with me. As my eyes were tearing up, I turned the volume way up. I felt such warmth and peace. I spoke to my girl as I drove in the early morning darkness to work. I so needed those moments, and I am thankful for them. Problem is, I want more!

A cool recent "sign" I received that my Heather was with me happened at a least expected place. Well, maybe not least expected. I am not surprised that she was with us, actually. For Christmas, Bonnie gave me tickets for the two of us to see Fleetwood Mac in concert in Dallas. The concert was June 4th. The last day of the school year was June 5th. My employer does not approve leave for the last ten days of the school year. Plus, I had just interviewed a few days before for a promotion. Not a good time to be taking off work. I struggled with this decision to the point that I was in tears. This was more than a concert. This was one on one time with my older daughter. Time to be together two days after the anniversary of her Dad's passing. Time to share the memories of listening to Fleetwood Mac together since the day she was born. Mother-Daughter time in Dallas, her home away from home for the past several years. I spoke with my supervisor and explained to her the situation and my fears about my difficult choice. She very compassionately told me that I knew in my heart what I needed to do. I needed to be with my daughter. She assured me that my job was secure and that this time off would not have any bearing on a decision in regard to the promotion. What a relief!
We were at the concert, a sold out venue. A packed house. We were so excited to be there. I have wanted to see Fleetwood Mac for so many years. Back when I wasn't sure if I would be able to attend, Bonnie told me that she wouldn't see Fleetwood Mac with anybody but me. This was OUR thing. The only thing that would have made this time more perfect would have been to have Heather with us. The concert started and one of many favorite songs was being preformed. Bonnie asked me if Heather would have liked to have been there with us. I replied yes, of course, Heather loved Fleetwood Mac. I looked around at the packed house. Not an empty seat to be found. Then, the lights on the stage turned to purple, and remained that color for the rest of the song. I looked on the other side of Bonnie. There was one empty seat. This seat remained empty for the whole concert. I told Bonnie that our Heather was with us. Somehow I knew that My Girl would be with us. Oh, and I got the promotion at work!

I think I will make a Birthday cake. Purple icing, of course. Silly? Nope, not at all. Just what I do. I hope I receive more "signs" through out the rest of the day from my Heather. If not, that is ok. I feel my girl with me today. I am happy that she is in Heaven with her Dad and now her Aunt Shirley and her Mamaw. But, I still miss her so much that it hurts so badly. I have lost many people in my life. Grandparents, husband, mother, sister, other family, and close friends. I can honestly say that there is no pain as severe as losing a child. I know that one day we will be together again. Until that day, I cherish my memories of my time with her and continue to share stories of her short, but amazing time here on earth. Heather was a loving. compassionate, tenacious, intelligent, fun, amazing young lady that was called from this earth way too soon. God needed my Angel in Heaven.

To My Heather,
Happy 28th Birthday, My Girl. You are forever in my heart. I miss you more than I even know how to express. I am thankful for the gift of having you in my life for 21 years. You were an amazing daughter, big sister, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, and friend. You touched the lives of many people. People that you knew personally, and people who only knew you through my writings. You made a positive impact on this world. You taught us all so much through your trials and hardships. Thank You for being in my life. I was truly blessed. I know you are having an awesome celebration in Heaven. Please continue to allow us to feel you with us and keep those signs coming! Continue to watch over your little sisters. They have so much love in their hearts for you and miss you so much. And Joel. He loves you like his own. Allow them to feel you with them as well. Not a day goes by that you are not thought of. We all love you so much.

So, HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY! You are so loved, and forever in our hearts.
Love You,
Mom