HEATHER'S 14th ANGELVERSARY

Details: Created: Sunday, 21 February 2021 00:12; Written by Lucy Kirkby

Today is Sunday, February 21, 2021, the 14-year angelversary of my Heather going to Heaven. Fourteen years. Seems like forever. The hardest part of losing a child is living every day afterwards. People tell me that life goes on, but, to me, that's the saddest part. The strongest person in the world is grieving mother that wakes up and keeps going every morning. There is no pain like that of a grieving mother. When I read those words recently, I felt them with such a rush of sadness and emptiness. Oh how I understood these words all too well.

A Mother’s job is to keep her child safe. An Angel’s Mother’s job is to keep her memory alive. I try to do this everyday. Children and Mothers never truly part. We are bound in the beating of each other’s heart. Although my heart is the only one left beating, my Heather is forever here in my heart. Still a part of me. Together forever.

I hate it when people feel uncomfortable asking about or speaking about my Heather. It won’t upset me or hurt me to talk about her. It shows me that you remember her and gives me an opportunity to share a beautiful memory with you. It may bring a tear to my eyes, but it always gets replaced with a smile. Her memory will live on. Heather brought such joy and beauty to this world. She changed many lives in a positive way. Heather gave us a glimpse of Heaven during her last four months on this earth. What a glorious place that awaits us. It confirmed the assurance that one day we will be united once again with those special people that have made the journey there and that continue to watch over us while we are still needed here on earth.

My Dear Heather,

Today is the anniversary of the day that I lost you, and for a time it felt as though my life ended too. Sometimes I look up and say, “you should be here”. I find myself watching for you. I wish for you to come back, but I don’t want you to suffer again. It breaks my heart over and over when I realize you are not coming back. Although I am full of sadness that you’re no longer here, happy memories of the times we shared will never die. They live within my heart and bring me strength and comfort while we are apart. I know you are here with me and I will always love and miss you with all my heart.

I often sit and think about the years that have passed by and the happiness and joy that we shared. I think of the laughter, the smiles, and the fun and before I even know it my tears have begun once again. Although it brings me comfort to think about the great memories it also reminds me of how life without you has never been the same. I sit here and think of all that you brought to my life. Your memory rests gently on my soul. God knows how much I’ve missed you since you went away. I’d give anything to just see your smile today. I miss you with all the pieces my heart and what is left of my soul.

I also remember how fortunate I was that you were in my life. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. I loved you your entire life and I will still love you and miss you the rest of mine. I won’t stop loving. I won’t forget. I won’t get over losing you. I journey forward living the best I can. Sometimes I hide the tears when I say your name. The pain is still the same in my heart. Although I smile and can seem carefree, there’s no one that misses you more than me. You will always be a part of me.

I used to tell you that I love you to the moon and back. Now I tell you that I love you, My Angel beyond the moon and stars. Although you can’t be here with me, we’re not truly apart. Until the final breath I take, you’ll be living here where I hold you in my heart. You are the most beautiful thing I keep in my heart.

It is a beautiful, sunny, warm day much like that day back in 2007 when you spent your last day here with us. An unusually warm, sunny day after a bitter cold spell. The same as it happened back then. It is only fitting that today duplicated the same weather pattern from back then.

My beautiful girl girl, Heather. I love you so very much. Please continue to watch over us, especially your sweet sisters. Protect them like only you can. Continue to send your little signs to us to encourage and remind us that you are helping us to keep moving forward on our journey here on earth. Until we are together once again, I pray that you hear me when I speak to you, feel my love for you and know just how special you are. I was so blessed to be your mother, even for the short 21 years that I had you with me. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Thank you for being such a beautiful, kind, loving, free spirit and for bringing such joy into my life.

I LOVE YOU MY HEATHER, MY GIRL GIRL. 💜

Love,
Mom