Heather's 40th Birthday
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- Created: Saturday, 21 June 2025 12:32
- Written by Lucy Kirkby
On this date 40 years ago my beautiful daughter, Heather was born at 5:19am. She was my first born, the one who gave me the honor of using the title of “Mom”. I never knew before that first moment that I looked at my baby girl, how it was possible to truly feel love at first sight. This small baby completely stole my heart. It is hard to comprehend that 40 years have gone by since that moment. It doesn’t seem like it has been 40 years ago. Heck, that means that I am old enough to have a 40 year old child. How can that be? In my mind, I only feel 30 something! How my old bones feel is a completely different story.
That day’s special event changed my life forever. I can honestly say that having Heather for my daughter made me a better person and taught me so much about life. I cherish my memories of learning how to be a mom. Each day was a new adventure. Each day was a new day to try to do better than I did the day before. Watching my Heather grow into the beautiful young lady that she became was an incredible experience.
The years my sweet Heather, "my girl girl", as I would affectionately call her, were cut short by one of the most horrible diseases that exists. Huntington’s Disease. Currently, there is still no effective treatment or cure for this disease that tragically took my Heather’s life. My Heather was born on June 21, 1985. My Heather passed away from this world on February 21, 2007. My Heather was 21 years old when she left us for an eternity in Heaven. My Heather remains forever 21.
Losing a child is the single most difficult thing that can happen to a parent. To those that may read this, I pray that you never have to endure this indescribable pain that I carry daily. This year marks 18 years without my first born, my daughter, my Heather, my girl girl. I can honestly say that it doesn’t get easier to handle. I have just been forced to learn how to carry on and make the best life I can for myself and my family. I lost a part of me. A piece of me left with my Heather that day. I had to learn to become a Mom that now has a child in Heaven. I still talk to my Heather. I still look for her “signs” that she is here with us. She sends many! Sometimes I look up and say to her, “I know that was you”. She is our Angel watching over us. It was my job to watch over her. It is very difficult to accept that I had no control over the disease that took my beautiful girl. However, I do have control over keeping her memory alive and making sure that she is never forgotten.
So, we celebrate June 21st, Heather’s Birthday! This year, as it happened to be last year, I was away from home for a work conference. Joel drove up and joined me in Fort Worth for a few days. On your birthday evening, when we were back at the hotel, I asked the hostess at the hotel restaurant to see their desert menu. Joel and I wanted to each have a piece of cake for your birthday. We didn’t see anything that seemed to fit what we were looking for. The hostess was very kind when I explained that I lost my oldest daughter 18 years ago and that it would be her 40th birthday. It had to be a special desert for the occasion. Joel and I ended up walking to The Cheesecake Factory a few blocks away and bring back to the hotel our deserts. We chose to sit in the hotel lobby at a little table tucked away from the crowded room. The Hostess saw us and brought over a single candle and a lighter to us. Her kind act meant so much to me. Joel took a picture of the lit candle in my piece of cake. Oh how I wanted to be sharing that cake with my girl, girl on her special day.
Joel took two pictures. One clearly shows that the table we were at was dark gray, white and black. The lighting was a soft white. When Joel saw his second picture he said that I was not going to believe it. The lighting on the table and plastic container that my cake was in was a deep purple color! No filter on the camera was used what so ever. As everyone who knew Heather or have heard me speak of Heather are aware that her favorite color was purple. I truly feel that my Heather was there with us as we had cake to celebrate her special day.
To my Heather, my girl girl,
On your special day we celebrate the beautiful memories you left behind and the love that still surrounds us. I know that you had the best Birthday celebration there in Heaven surrounded by your dad, grandmother, and other family that love you. I hope you heard me tell you Happy Birthday at 5:19am like I have for 40 years. Of course Drops of Jupiter was played, and I held you extra close in my heart and thoughts all day. Although that is a constant.
I wish my arms were so much longer. I’d reach out to you with the sweetest presents, and if you’d come closer stretching out your hands, I’d suddenly pull you down to give you the biggest hug ever. Because I LOVE YOU. A Mother’s love is forever. I miss you.
I have to stop writing now because tears are welling up in my eyes and I am about to completely lose my composure. Sometimes this happens unexpectedly and in the least convenient places. There are times that I just have to allow the tears to flow. I’ll never get over missing you, my precious girl.
Happy Birthday to my sweet Heather, my girl girl. Heaven has a most special Angel. My Heather, My Heavenly Dancer. Your Mama LOVES YOU! 💜