Heather's 34th Birthday

Details: Created: Friday, 21 June 2019 15:14; Written by Lucy Kirkby

June 21, 2019 - Heather’s 34th Birthday

Happy 34th Birthday to my Heather girl girl!!

If you were here we would be celebrating “your” day with cake, ice cream, many presents, balloons, laughter and all things purple. Instead, you are in Heaven and we are left behind here on earth. It is still a day to celebrate “your” day. It is just different now. If you were here, you would be 34 today. Instead, you are forever 21.

I wore purple with your purple bow pinned to my shirt in your honor today. I have been listening to music by Train, especially Drops of Jupiter. It is a beautiful day outside. How I wish you could be here with us. I love you and miss you. If I could hold you once again, I would never let you go. Your memory is a treasure that I hold in my heart. You may be gone from my sight, but you are never gone from my heart.

The day you were born, you taught me the meaning of unconditional love. You have my love forever. As long as I live, you will live. As long as I live, you will be loved. As long as I live, you will be remembered. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and smile. Or cry. Or both. You brought so much joy and love to this world. I miss your laugh, your sense of humor, your hugs, your everything. I miss you today just like I missed you yesterday and just as I will miss you the rest of my life.

I hope that you celebrate “your” day in Heaven. You are my special Angel. Know that you are loved so much by so many. You are remembered today and every day. Continue to send us the signs that remind us that you are watching over us. It is such a blessing when we realize we see or feel one.

On the moment you became our Heavenly Dancer, I watched you reach for hands I could not see, even as you held mine. Someday yours will be two of the hands reaching for mine from Heaven. Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again. You and your sisters are the only ones who will ever know the strength of my love for you all. After all, you girls are the only ones who know what my heart sounds like from the inside.

Happy Birthday My Heather. I love you oh so much.

Love Always,
Mom

Thoughts:

My daughter died. But she also lived. And they are equally important to acknowledge. She died. I gave birth to her. I held her body and said welcome to the world. I held her body and said goodbye. It was an end and a beginning. I lovingly carry her with me still. It is impossible to do otherwise. This is not a choice. It simply is. Since the day she left me, I have realized that, in grieving, one never heals from the pain of losing a child. I have learned to live one day at a time with a heartache that has become a part of me. Losing an adult child feels like having the entire chapters of your life torn out and shredded. I refuse to allow my beautiful girl to be forgotten.

Heather Elizabeth Ashley Stice. Heavenly Dancer. Forever 21.